Rethinking Therapy Ethics: Why They’re Your Superpower, Not Your Shackles

When we think about therapy ethics, it’s easy to picture a rigid rulebook that limits what we can say or do in the room. Many of us have internalized the idea that if we step even slightly out of line, we’re at risk of harming a client or jeopardizing our license.

What if I told you that your ethical framework isn’t a set of handcuffs—but your greatest tool as a trauma therapist??

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I remember early on in my career when I felt like I was walking a tightrope in every session. I second-guessed myself constantly, terrified of unintentionally crossing an ethical boundary. I’d replay sessions in my head at night, wondering if I had said too much or god forbid, not enough.

But over time, something shifted.

I began to see that the very thing I feared—the ethical framework—wasn’t there to catch me messing up. It was there to hold me, like the container I create for my clients in session. That shift made all the difference.

Ethics stopped being a source of fear and started becoming the backbone of my confidence as a therapist.

Ethics as a Source of Freedom and Safety

We know that a safe container is the foundation of trauma therapy. Whether you practice EMDR, Brainspotting, somatic work, etc., everything begins with creating safety for your clients.

But here’s the part we often overlook: your ethical framework is the container that creates safety for you.

Ethics protect our clients, yes. But they also protect us.

When we trust the boundaries of our work, we can show up fully and authentically. This means ethics don’t have to stifle our humanity; they can instead create the structure that allows us to bring ourselves into the room without fear.

Take a moment to think about the last time you hesitated to share a piece of yourself with a client. Maybe you wanted to disclose something small but held back because that old “blank slate” training kicked in.

We’re taught to keep our personal lives far from the therapy room, but sometimes that little glimpse of humanity—the casual mention of a weekend hike or the chaos of family birthday parties—can be the bridge to deeper trust.

Here’s the truth: Being human and being ethical aren’t mutually exclusive. In fact, they work best together.

The Colonial Roots of Ethical Codes

Of course, we can’t talk about ethics without acknowledging the larger context in which they were created. Many of our ethical codes are rooted in colonial principles—ideas that prioritize neutrality, distance, and sameness over cultural responsiveness and individual differences.

This doesn’t mean we throw the rulebook out the window. But it does mean we must engage critically.

What’s considered “ethical” in one cultural context may feel cold or even unsafe in another. Our job as trauma therapists is to adapt while staying grounded in the core principles of safety and respect.

For example, small talk or light self-disclosure might be discouraged in some modalities, but for many clients, these moments are essential. They help clients neurocept to safety, recognizing us as real, trustworthy humans.

How to Engage with Ethics as a Tool for Freedom

Instead of viewing ethics as barriers, let’s reframe them as tools for creating more authentic therapeutic relationships.

This week, I challenge you to revisit your ethical code through this lens. Ask yourself:

• Where does this framework give me room to show up as my full self?

• Is there an area that feels especially rigid? Why?

• How can I honor this boundary while adapting to the cultural or individual needs of my clients?

If this feels overwhelming, start small.

Think of one client you feel comfortable with and explore subtle shifts. Maybe you share a light personal anecdote or respond with humor. Notice how these small adjustments impact the relationship and your sense of ease in the room.

My Own Journey: When Ethics Created the Safety I Needed

Becoming the Trauma Psychologist at the Level 1 Trauma Center in New Orleans forever changed my approach to being human in therapy. Working bedside with survivors of traumatic injury, you soon learn that avoiding being human just isn’t an option.

In that setting, therapy wasn’t just about guiding people through their stories—it was about the little things. Helping someone eat or drink after surgery, offering updates on the city outside their hospital window, or even just sharing whether I had gone to Jazz Fest or a Mardi Gras parade. These small, everyday exchanges didn’t fit the “ethical” framework I had initially been trained in, but they were exactly what my patients needed.

At first, I felt like I was bending the rules. But I soon realized the most ethical thing I could do was to show up as myself, fully present and human.

These moments of connection weren’t just kind—they were essential to fostering trust and safety in a space where vulnerability was constant.

That experience reshaped how I view ethics and human connection. Now, I carry that lesson into every aspect of my practice, knowing that leaning into my humanity isn’t just helpful—it’s necessary.

Since then, I’ve learned that stepping into authenticity doesn’t mean throwing ethics aside—it means leaning into them with confidence.

Reflection Exercises

As you work your way through this article, you might notice a number of questions, hesitations, and reactions coming up.

Here are a few small but powerful exercises to help you explore and integrate this shift in perspective:

• Micro-Moments of Mindfulness: Pause between sessions for two minutes of deep breathing. Let this become a grounding ritual.

• Peer Support: Schedule regular check-ins with a trusted colleague. Share what feels heavy or unclear. You don’t have to hold it all alone.

• Get Back to Basics: Do something you know will help you feel more grounded, calm, or whatever state you're needing. Don’t reinvent the wheel when you have things that already work!

Therapist Ethics are Foundational

Ethics, when embraced fully, are more than just guidelines—they’re the foundation of trust, connection, and healing. By allowing ourselves to show up authentically within the framework, we not only create safer spaces for our clients but for ourselves as well.

Being a trauma therapist means navigating the delicate balance between professionalism and humanity. When we stop seeing ethics as barriers and start viewing them as tools for deeper connection, our work becomes more fulfilling and sustainable.

I’d love to hear from you. How do you see your ethical framework as a source of strength in your work?

Drop your thoughts in the comments, and if you’re looking for a space to explore these questions, come join us in the BRAVE Trauma Therapist Collective.

This is where we tackle the hard stuff together—with compassion, support, and a whole lot of honesty.